What sort of help do you want? Or, put a different way: how would you recognize something as helpful, if such help were provided?

Excellent question! I didn't even think of that kind of ambiguity. I like the way you phrased it and then clarified it. Already helpful!

I consider a link to something really good (and preferably brief) helpful. Or the right sentence.

I would recognize something as helpful if I perceived that it would change my future behavior so that I communicate better. Better means: with less effort, more persuasive, not feeling left behind in a conversation, more accurate empathy. Heck, asking the right question, as you just did. Although I'm probably too "Socratic" for most people already.

Since this is too lofty, here's a limited goal. I would like to know how to communicate with like-minded folks on this site as well as possible. E.g. I didn't know the "friends" option existed, or what it does, or that I wasn't seeing all posts until I finally clicked on preferences.

I feel that there's too much unsaid wisdom here, or rather that it's spread out to the winds, so an effort to fix that would be great. (or at least I haven't found the succinct/definitive source and no I haven't read the sequences. Frankly I've been put off by wordiness and colloquially. I'll get over it eventually, I guess, because I'm picking at it already.)

Also, in the rant, I noticed ambiguity as an asset and a liability and as a CPU sink. Are there alternatives that I don't know about for coping with this? And/or comments on my brace elaboration?

By the way, started reading Cialdini's Influence and I judge it as helpful, though not for English per se yet. Honestly, i found HPMOR more amusing than helpful, but yes, it got me here, I suppose, so points!

Edit^2: I think that this line is my most immediate pain point:

I shouldn't have to run a huge simulation just to speak or to listen! {motivated thinking}

Anything that helps me figure out work arounds or accept the necessity is great!

PS I just noticed that your question anticipated and resolved the answer "I don't know." Very slick. But let me say "I don't know" too.