remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language
People love to hear their own name.
People who have read this book seem to think it is polite or pleasant to repeatedly use a person's first name in conversation.
Perhaps it was so, in the 1930s. However, I suspect that something has changed since then, namely, the popularity of this book with salespeople. Today, repeatedly using a person's name in conversation makes you sound like an overly ingratiating salesperson who's read Dale Carnegie. Don't do this; it's creepy.
Probably the optimal place to use someone's name is in close proximity to the nicest thing you're going to say in the conversation. This may train them to feel good when you say their name, at which point you probably start saying it at the start of the conversation too, to put things on a good footing.
I'd recommend the book to anyone, even if only for its historical value as one of the lasting early[1] self-help books (together with Napoleon Hill's, I guess). There are some good insights in the book that are worth following.
However, it shares some of the problems that many modern self-help books have as well: very high on anecdote and broad generalizations, yet very light on evidence, or even considering alternative explanations for observations.
[1] Of course, self-help books are as least as old as Marcus Aurelius' Meditations...
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Dear Cosmos
Thank you for you answer. I'm not too shabby, that is I can easily turn a stranger into an acquaintance or lover. It's from acquaintance to friend, and finding acquaintances I'd like to be friends with that I could improve (which translates to chapters 4 and 5 of your book, which sadly are not available). Please do update when they are.
The section on not-arguing seems exactly in line with my thought on the matter. Well, I'd qualify "never tell others that they are wrong" a bit more - I'd say you should make sure it's factually true, and make sure that the person has practice in admitting mistakes in this area (think math students in math). But if those conditions hold, you can save a lot of time and condescension.
Anyhow, instead of making a post out of not-arguing like I'd half-planned, I may just fillet Carnegie.
I once skimmed "How to win friends and influence people". I didn't read enough to have a good opinion of the advice (I suspect djcb's description of it being fairly good advice as long as the author's experience generalises well, which HTWFAIP probably does better than many but not perfectly).
However, what had a profound influence on me was that though there's an unfortunate stereotype of people who've read too much Carnegie seeming slimy and fake, the author seemed to genuinely want to like people and be nice to them, which I thought was lovely.
Here is a useful cheat sheet: http://www.scribd.com/doc/3152662/How-to-Win-Friends-and-Influence-People-cheat-sheet
I would recommend reading the book or listening to the audiobook, it is actually a pretty engaging read, ab it heavy on the business examples though. You do need to put effort into developing 5 second skills and heuristics for it to be all that useful, otherwise it is just a load of points that sits in the back of your mind.
I would also recommend The Teaching Company's "Effective Communication Skills" if you want more on the subject.
In the very back of Kaj's excellent How to Run a Successful Less Wrong Meetup Group booklet, he has a recommended reading section, including the classic book How to Win Friends and Influence People.
It just so happens that not only have I read the book myself, but I have written up a concise summary of the core advice here. Kaj suggested that I post this on the discussion section because others might find it useful, so here you go!
I suspect that more people are willing to read a summary of a book from the 1930s than an actual book from the 1930s. What I will say about reading the long-form text is that it can be more useful for internalizing these concepts and giving examples of them. It is far too easy to abstractly know what you need to do, much harder to actually take action on those beliefs...