FiftyTwo comments on In Defense of Tone Arguments - Less Wrong Discussion
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Comments (172)
I think there's an issue in that people read in differently from tone arguments depending on the source. The argument response "I don't like your tone" coming from someone you know agrees with you would likely be seen as a suggestion of phrasing the same point better, from someone you believe disagrees with you it is probably an attempt to avoid the substance of the argument.
I suspect with minimal information about the other person people will assume the latter and go on the defensive.