What does your psychiatrist have to say about your crippling anxiety?
I haven't been able to afford therapy for a while now. When I could afford it he taught me enough behavioral therapy to eventually overcome my previous entanglements, but this is something new for me.
The cognitive distortion is called "catastrophizing", I think.
I'm afraid of unexpected, strongly negative events occurring to me without warning. Nothing specific, just a generalized fear. That fear is crippling me. Worse, there's a part of me that feels that fear is keeping me safe. "If I let go of that fear," it goes, "I would start doing things and then I wouldn't be safe any more."
I haven't filled out a job application in over a week, because doing so would force me out into the world if i got an interview, and into the world consistently if I got the job.