My approach is not "we should/shouldn't say X" at all. It is, rather, "if we want to learn about people of category Q, we should listen to (and welcome) those people themselves, in preference to people of category P who make conjectures about people of category Q. And people of category Q often don't have much patience for being conjectured about in ways that are not only unflattering, but have long ago been debunked."

For instance, if you want to acquire information about the experiences, psyches, and motives of women, you're better off listening to women rather than listening to misogynistic pick-up artists. If you want to learn about black people, you're better off listening to black people rather than listening to white raci(ali)sts. And so on.

(This is, by the way, part of why I think we shouldn't use religion as a cheap example of irrationality. Religion is a lot more complicated than many skeptics' models of it would suggest.)