the Queen gives in quite quickly. Even in Equestria, surely there are manyscammers and leeches and deluded people that a simple Pascal's wager wouldn't work.
The royals in this setting have been shown in other stories to be, generally, about as practical as characters in a cartoon aimed at children tend to be - eg, holding onto letters from a pirate until a bunch have been collected, to read them all at once, instead of as they come in. That said, they are also known to have powerful magic - including, as a significant factor in this story, several forms of honesty-detection.
Stealing from MoR? really?
I'll admit that most of that wasn't the best choice I could have made. If I ever do a rewrite, that bit will be one of the most thoroughly rewritten bits.
Don't bring up time travel unless your character can actually say clearly how it would lead to time travel! (Grr, it's not deducing if the character can't even explain it, as I bet you can't.)
I note with disapproval the blatant theft in chapter 13 as well.
The character in question was plucked from Earth from early April, 2012. Another note for a future rewrite might be to more explicitly mention that she's drawing ideas from certain pieces of rationalist fiction.
Hilarious udder joke. But I'm surprised any cow would be that flexible...
I checked. They can indeed do so - it can cause a significant degradation of output, so dairies sometimes have to train cows to not do so.
'Luna looked pained, and looked away from us both, which was answer enough', isn't this obviously an answer to her previous question about where she is in the timeline?
I'm not quite sure what you mean. If it helps - in the cartoon, Luna was banished for a thousand years, after becoming a monster who tried to place the land under eternal night, her return and rehabilitation forming the plot of the first episode.
'the deliberate act of some powerful being' and where did this all of a sudden come from?
This refers to the initial few lines of the first chapter, when the protagonist was punted by a mysterious stranger into Equestria; and is more thoroughly dealt with in a later chapter.
Enjoyed the rhyming, although I have no idea what that was all about.
The zebra in question is a character from the cartoon, who has the quirk of speaking in rhymes.
Ch15: "... I ripped the tag off of a mattress. How about you?" You know that it's perfectly legal for the end-consumer to do that, right? Or is that the joke?
Yes, that was the intended joke there. After all the protagonist was jailed for the crime of 'littering', after doing carefully undescribed things to the unicorns who attacked her.
Not sure if I'm interested enough to keep reading, but at least it's not a terrible fic.
Given the differences between the audience here and the standard audience at FimFiction.net - a response like that was the best I aimed for.
The character in question was plucked from Earth from early April, 2012. Another note for a future rewrite might be to more explicitly mention that she's drawing ideas from certain pieces of rationalist fiction.
Eh. You can make up in-universe reasons, but it still comes off as sloppy... a good idea should be independently inventable or findable.
I checked. They can indeed do so - it can cause a significant degradation of output, so dairies sometimes have to train cows to not do so.
Wow. I guess I have learned something from this fic.
...This refers to t
For the past two months, I've been writing, and posting, roughly two thousand words a day of "Myou've Gotta be Kidding Me", a story set in a "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic" fanfic universe, "Chess Game of the Gods". Outside of the sheer NaNoWriMo-like exercise of pushing out near-daily chapters, I've also been trying to keep in mind the various principles I've learned from Yudkowsky and LessWrong, and to try to present them in a way that people who like reading MLP fanfics might be able to appreciate.
I've just come to something of a minor climax with chapter 60, and while I'll definitely be continuing the story, this seems like a good time to mention it here, for whatever feedback and constructive criticism anyone cares to offer.