The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin had a good effect. Though I don't really follow it, it has helped me somewhat in getting me focused on being something other than a Defender of the Faith in an argument.

Good old Ben seems an effective instrumental rationalist. If you're going to argue, look to what you're trying to achieve and behave accordingly. I'd add to look to what value you can get from the opportunity. Correcting the other guy has next to no value to you in itself.

-- Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin

I made it a rule to forbear all direct contradictions to the sentiments of others, and all positive assertion of my own. I even forbade myself the use of every word or expression in the language that imported a fixed opinion, such as "certainly", "undoubtedly", etc. I adopted instead of them "I conceive", "I apprehend", or "I imagine" a thing to be so or so; or "so it appears to me at present".

When another asserted something that I thought an error, I denied myself the pleasure of contradicting him abruptly, and of showing him immediately some absurdity in his proposition. In answering I began by observing that in certain cases or circumstances his opinion would be right, but in the present case there appeared or semed to me some difference, etc. I soon found the advantage of this change in my manner; the conversations I engaged in went on more pleasantly. The modest way in which I proposed my opinions procured them a readier reception and less contradiction. I had less mortification when I was found to be in the wrong, and I more easily prevailed with others to give up their mistakes and join with me when I happened to be in the right.