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Eliezer_Yudkowsky comments on Friendship is Optimal: A My Little Pony fanfic about an optimization process - Less Wrong Discussion
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Are you interested in advice that would only be useful if you wanted to do a complete rewrite of the fic at some point, or is advice only useful if it's for improving the fic basically as it stands?
In-between case: I would have either Luna or Twilight be the sub-AI that wants to honestly explain the Celestia AI's workings to company employees without justifying anything, while Celestia is relentlessly cheerful as she persuasively argues everything from the Friendship and Ponies standpoint.
It's extremely unlikely that I'll rewrite the entire fic. (I am also unsure if I'll ever write something novella length again; much less novel or MoR length.)
I would prefer advice to make this the best version of basically what I have.
Why would you redo everything like that, boss?