= 27d567bc2d48d9f40e9ccc20ea370b15)
iceman comments on Friendship is Optimal: A My Little Pony fanfic about an optimization process - Less Wrong Discussion
You are viewing a comment permalink. View the original post to see all comments and the full post content.
= 783df68a0f980790206b9ea87794c5b6)
Loading…= b715d02e85f7b3b4ae65ca3d3e450868)
Subscribe to RSS Feed
Powered by Reddit
= f037147d6e6c911a85753b9abdedda8d)
You are viewing a comment permalink. View the original post to see all comments and the full post content.
Comments (145)
So I just reworked the Prologue based off gwern's suggestion of a bet between friends. Does this help with conflict?
I'd say it helps, but not enough. There's a bit of a conflict, but it's in the background and the stakes are low. I don't actually care if Rebecca has to buy her friend a copy of the game. Maybe raise the stakes? As it is, the most interesting part was "The idea of Jennifer telling her that she told her so wasn’t appealing though." (Aside: I'd consider reworking that sentence so you're juggling fewer pronouns. I had to read it twice.) You might want to play up the social aspect of the bet. I'd go so far as to suggest putting Jennifer in the room with Rebecca.
As stated upthread, Friendship is Optimal is sort of leaking onto TVTropes so I feel my hand is sort of being forced.
So I've further reworked the prologue. (Multiple times actually.) I'm not entirely happy with it, but as per above, I feel like I've run out of time. Are there quick things that I can do to improve the quality of the Prologue from where it is now?
Also, given that people outside of LW are discussing this, do you think it would it be better if I post in chunks or post all at once?
The prologue looks much better. I don't have anything to add except "good job."
If you're trying to maximize readers, I suspect that posting in chunks on a regular update schedule is probably the best way to do it, as each update is a chance for new readers to find the story. (That's based on my intuition, not data; PhilGoetz has actually spent a little time analyzing readership data and might be able to tell you more.) You can remove the gdoc if you're worried people will track it down, or leave it up for the small minority of people who care enough to search for it.
When are you posting this on EqD?
I'll commit to reading this version by Saturday at the very latest, and hopefully sooner. In the meantime, rather than posting ahead of schedule, consider making the gdoc private except for readers you specifically allow. (If anyone's posted a copy of the whole thing, I couldn't find it with thirty seconds on Google.)