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Sarokrae comments on Call for Anonymous Narratives by LW Women and Question Proposals (AMA) - Less Wrong Discussion
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I hope you eventually found the Game blogs where women are people too!
I tend to find that confidence is fine if you can consciously signal "you are higher status than me, I respect you, I won't upset your authority and hey look how mysterious and pursuable I am. Also I'm not at all annoying", which is a large part of what being shy is good for. If you can game their System 1, then confidence is better than shyness for properly engaging with the actual person.
I'd be interseted in Game blog recommendations. I'm trying to put a bit of time into researching it.
MMSL (for male-dominant LTRs) and Hooking Up Smart (for college dating) are fairly good in content and basically non-offensive. One of the authors is married to a reasonably rational woman and the other is a reasonably rational woman, so neither do the "assume women aren't agents" thing.
It's just as much general psychology, but I really like what I've read of The Rawness, especially this sequence (link to last post) that among other things harshly criticizes (one large high-profile memetic clade of) pickup (in part 4).