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atorm comments on Parenting and Happiness - Less Wrong Discussion

20 Post author: jkaufman 03 October 2012 01:43PM

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Comment author: Emile 03 October 2012 03:39:56PM *  15 points [-]

For what it's worth, I don't think I particularly expected that having a kid would make me happier, and I don't think having more kids will make me happier yet I still plan to.

(and also, if I was convinced that partial lobotomy followed by a life of smoking pot, playing world of warcraft and living off welfare would make me happier, I still wouldn't do it)

Either way this and the finding that older parents are happier suggests a strategy: keep planning to have kids 'very soon', putting it off month after month until you're in your early 30s

There's also a higher risk of more deleterious mutations for men, and low fertility for women.

Comment author: atorm 04 October 2012 12:23:25AM 9 points [-]

Why are you having kids?

Comment author: Emile 05 October 2012 08:10:39AM *  7 points [-]

Because I want to? It's not really easy to figure out the true reasons for why one does something (there's a high probability of rationalization), but probable reasons include:

  • I like kids, and tend to get along with them well
  • it's a nice excuse for being able to play with Legos again
  • I like teaching, and finding games for teaching
  • A sense of social responsibility: if I can afford to raise kids in a better environment than average, I should do so (see also nykos's comment in this thread)
  • My parents, my wife's parents, etc. etc. prefer to have grandkids
  • I'm still relatively young, and know that it's better to have kids early than late (it's easier, the kid has a lower chance of having genetic problems, and we have more energy)
  • I expect that when I'm older, having kids will be more interesting and useful
  • Raising kids is a bit of a challenge

(Yes, some of those reasons could be described as "because it will make me happier")

Comment author: torekp 08 October 2012 12:06:42AM *  5 points [-]

Here's a few more:

  • My wife's an awesome person, there should be more people like her
  • We can probably make this child happy

Parental happiness comes from these factors, but only if you first care about these factors independently of the effect on your happiness.

Comment author: blashimov 18 October 2012 08:53:04PM 0 points [-]

I plan to because I appear to have a very strong reward circuit around children (especially happy children). I quite literally enjoy a child's smile more than any food I have ever eaten, for example.

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