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ialdabaoth comments on Rationality, Transhumanism, and Mental Health - Less Wrong Discussion
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I think I have, but how could I tell if I actually had tried or not, rather than merely deluded myself into thinking that I had tried but it was too hard?
Well, you say you want a partial personectomy. That indicates a desire to destroy part of yourself, rather than a desire to ultimately understand and nurture that part.
I believe that that relaxation/uncurling my spine is an indication that I've succeeded at compassion towards myself.
Here's an alternate explanation for not succeeding-- you tried, but you didn't know what you needed to do, so you did something but it didn't work.