I think the shortest benign and obvious replacement I've seen is "transfolk;" "trans*" is shorter but not nearly as clear. Are there other replacements you would recommend?
As a trans person: Use trans as an adjective, and with about the same heuristics you would for noting some other aspect of a person.
"Cindy is a tall woman" is socially-comfy if it's relevant that Cindy is tall. If you always refer to Cindy as a "tall woman" specifically, omitting opportunities to drop the adjective or including it even where it's not obviously pertinent information, it usually comes across as awkward. If you emphasize it or bring it up pretty much at random even in situations where it's clearly not relevant, people beg...
If it's worth saying, but not worth its own post, even in Discussion, it goes here.