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private_messaging comments on LW Women Entries- LW Meetups - Less Wrong Discussion
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Intonation matters. A guy dragged to a meet-up and hating it could make it sound like "do you actually read this loser crap or did someone drag you here?", because he is only interested in her conditionally on her not being into the loser crap. I find it amusing because on the immediate reading I pictured a guy dragged onto meet-up trying to make a stab at her boyfriend for dragging her there, and then I was, oh, he was just being misogynistic for no good reason. (And even that is still maybe, because it's OP's account of it and OP is third party. Maybe he was clumsily trying to be self depreciating about the whole meetup thing)
Yes. I think it was impolite of her to reply to something she had overheard, without knowing anything about the interactions between those two people. For all she knew, there might have been mutual knowledge among the two of them that he was in jest.
EDIT: Retracted. On reading the OP again, it seems that she already knew the woman and was reasonably sure that the man hadn't previously met her, so the above doesn't apply.