In any case, the "resolution" between feminist concerns, and evolutionary psychology is to understand that evolution does fine by itself, and hardly needs help from law or custom to get its job done
Evolution doesn't have a job to do. It just is, Moreover, our ancestral environment doesn't look much like modern cultures, but seems at this point pretty clear that culture can influence evolution.
assholes (a technical term describing a male who performs actions that make him less attractive to females)
If you think this definition of asshole captures your intuition about the meaning of that word then something has gone drastically wrong.
f even 95% of males are heterosexual, those who would ban homosexuality as unnatural
They have much more of an is v. ought problem before one gets to whether or not it is unnatural. But it also isn't helpful in this regards in another way: whether something is or is not natural is distinct from whether it is evolutionary advantageous (either now or in our ancestral environment). Note also that there quite a few hypotheses giving potential explanations for why homosexuality would evolve.
one would screw with evo psych's result at one's peril
This is essentially an argument that we should reside in a hunter-gatherer or subsistence agriculture society and also shouldn't try to address cognitive biases and shouldn't do any math that wasn't easy in our ancestral environment, etc. etc. I don't think this argument does what you want it to do.
I don't mean to claim that there should be a conflict.
Most likely the conflict arises because of many things, such as 1)Women having been ostracized for much of our society's existence 2)People failing at the is-ought problem, and committing the Naturalistic Fallacy 3)Lots of media articles saying unbelievably naïve evolutionary statements as scientific fact 4)Feminists as a group being defensive 5)Specially defensive when it comes to what is said to be natural. 6) General disregard by people, and politically engaged people (see The Blank Slate, by Steve Pinker) of the existence of a non Tabula Rasa nature. 7) Lack of patience of Evolutionary Psychologists to make peace and explain themselves for the things that journalists, not them, claimed. and others...
But the fact is, the conflict arose. It has only bad consequences as far as I could see, such as people fighting over each other, breaking friendships, and prejudice of great intensity on both sides.
How to avoid this conflict? Should someone write a treatise on Feminist Evolutionary Psychology? Should we get Leda Cosmides to talk about women liberation?
There are obviously no incompatibilities between reality and the moral claims of feminism. So whichever facts about evolutionary psychology are found to be true with the science's development, they should be made compatible. Compatibilism is possible.
But will the scientific community pull it off?
Related: Pinker Versus Spelke - The Science of Gender and Science
http://www.edge.org/3rd_culture/debate05/debate05_index.html
David Buss and Cindy Meston - Why do Women Have Sex?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KA0sqg3EHm8