What information has surprised you most recently?

FiftyTwo

What information has surprised you most recently? — LessWrong

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Disclaimer: this post contains personal informations and (very mild) generalizations about gender behaviour. If you think you cannot handle it properly, please avoid it.

Unfortunately, the most surprising information I had recently has been my February break-up: this girl I was dating and was madly in love with exhibited all behaviours of being in love with me too... There were some problems that prevented us getting together, but I thought they weren't so determining. It turned out I was deadly wrong: she started dating a guy that was nearer to her home and had more free time, and after two weeks I was dumped. A month later they were engaged. I have thus increased the probability of correlation between behaviours signalling love (signs of affection, sex, gifts, etc.) and predatory behavious (securing a mate for resources). Which is another way to say that now I'm less trustful towards women :/

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hyporational14y-20

I don't think your update follows from the information you provided. I think someonewrongonthenet asks a legit question.

I think observing how fast the "signs of love" develop is a useful heuristic in determining how fast they could dump you. If a person falls in love with you even before you have demonstrated your worth, something is wrong, assuming you're looking for a longer relationship. I personally think this works the other way too, I don't think falling in love is a useful heuristic for finding a suitable partner. Some people are just addi... (read more)

5someonewrongonthenet14y

Well, that's interesting...unless you are bisexual, you don't and won't ever have such bad experiences with men. So from a rationalist perspective, does it make sense to use this evidence to update your beliefs about the trustworthiness of women, but not your beliefs about the trustworthiness of men? (This is a real, not rhetorical question)

3The Dao of Bayes14y

I've found that paying attention to how much "signs of love" and "access to me for resources" correlate is useful in my relationships. But I'm also polyamorous so distance tends not to be nearly as big an obstacle as it seems to be for monogamy (coincidentally, if you're not aware, distance? Is a HUGE factor for a lot of people)

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