You're looking at Less Wrong's discussion board. This includes all posts, including those that haven't been promoted to the front page yet. For more information, see About Less Wrong.

MrMind comments on What information has surprised you most recently? - Less Wrong Discussion

11 Post author: FiftyTwo 09 December 2012 04:43AM

You are viewing a comment permalink. View the original post to see all comments and the full post content.

Comments (122)

You are viewing a single comment's thread. Show more comments above.

Comment author: MrMind 11 December 2012 08:44:11AM 2 points [-]

I've found that paying attention to how much "signs of love" and "access to me for resources" correlate is useful in my relationships.

Yeah...

But I'm also polyamorous so distance tends not to be nearly as big an obstacle as it seems to be for monogamy

How do you implement that? You just simply tell a girl you like that you have multiple relationships?

Comment author: handoflixue 11 December 2012 07:03:33PM 2 points [-]

I usually say I'm polyamorous, because most polyamorous people know the term, but otherwise yeah. I also live in Portland, and hang out with crowds where this is more common than normal. I did end up dating one monogamous girl, but she was completely okay with it - work occupied 90% of her life, and having a partner that didn't mind seeing her once or twice a month worked out very nicely for her.

I generally bring this up well before asking someone out, so that I can get a good feel for their reaction (often first or second meeting - just talking about my life makes it pretty clear I date multiple people. "Oh, today I hung out with girlfriend A and watched Farscape, then got a haircut with girlfriend B")

I also tend to emphasize my particular style of polyamory, which centers on honesty and the idea "It's not cheating if everyone involved has agreed to play by different rules". I've found signalling "I'm poly, NOT someone cheating on their spouse" is important :)

Comment author: someonewrongonthenet 15 December 2012 03:41:08AM *  2 points [-]

Have I ever mentioned how envious I am of people who live in Portland...

Comment author: MrMind 17 December 2012 08:09:04AM 1 point [-]

Ahah, yeah... Please realize that in Italian the word "polyamory" doesn't even exist...