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anonymous110886 comments on Farewell Aaron Swartz (1986-2013) - Less Wrong Discussion
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It should have been me. He was doing more for the world than most people ever will and he died when my selfish lazy ass survived. I'm a fucking moron so I didn't notice the friction between the rope and the anchor and it broke and I landed on my ass, but he wasn't a fucking moron, he could see that kind of thing and now he's dead. Fucking hell, why couldn't it just have been me instead of him?
The universe doesn't offer that sort of trade.
I am at a loss for words. I really, really want to say something helpful, but I don't know how. Please, please stop thinking that way! If only I could hug you IRL, I would.
http://www.reddit.com/r/suicidewatch may help you.
Unless you have access to a time machine, such measurement is probably a bad idea, if only for mental health reasons. As someone who's name I forget once said, suicide is catching.