Right now, the debate between consequentialism and deontology is hard for me to grasp, because I feel like by tabooing words I can re write any dilemma to sympathize with either theory.

If I can recommend a textbook (I don't know how acceptable a solution that is, but whatever) Normative Ethics helped me overcome a lot of confusion about terms and theories and realize that it's not all just pure wordplay. It definitely helped me get a better handle on the specifics of the debate between the various normative moral positions.