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TheOtherDave comments on Group Rationality Diary, April 15-29 - Less Wrong Discussion
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FWIW, I have exactly the pattern you describe in your first paragraph (less so now than before my stroke), and one of the consequences of it is that the group of friends I have kept into my forties are, as a group, unusually inclined to engage me at an intellectual level. It's hard to say for sure, but I suspect I'm happier as a consequence of this than I would be had I been more successful at maintaining friendships with people who were not so inclined.
That said, it is of course useful to be able to develop friendships with an arbitrarily selected person, regardless of whether I choose to.
Oh, don't get me wrong: I intend to keep filtering my close friends for being intellectually engaging. I just want to be more capable of having positive interactions with other people, and avoid making them dislike me.