Now that I think about it, I interchangably used "identity" and "status" in the post while the two are actually very distinct things. Identity is "I am" statements. If you're optimizing for identity you're trying to get as many people as possible to agree with the statement "I am __", where in the blank goes "a goth", "a nice guy", "intelligent", "rational", "a Democrat", etc. Whereas status is a consequence of at least two cognitive algorithms in our brain left over from tribal times, one which instantly assigns a status value to the people we interact with, and another that constantly maintains a status value for ourselves (self-esteem). If you're optimizing for status, you're trying to get other people's brains to assign you high status.

I would argue that optimizing for identity is mostly useless unless you're Boring Bob, or you need to fit in with a certain group of people who hate outsiders. Optimizing for status, on the other hand, is probably almost always useful, although you can of course be low-status and have healthy and satisfying social and romantic relationships.

I might edit the post to make this clearer.