To whatever extent tradeoffs exist between "the feeling of being among my own kind" and finding good friends on the one hand, and "social reinforcement for doing cool stuff" and "cultivating greatness" on the other hand, which would you prefer?

I don't think I'd be happy with either-or. Though I think you've helped me narrow the question down a bit: "where do good creators of my own tribe congregate, and how and where do they coordinate in person." That seems like something I could find answers to. But I'm still interested in this community's answers.

Either way, moving closer to downtown would probably help, if it's an option.

It's an option, but not an especially viable one. Moving would mean changing jobs with its attendant risks, and would mean my partner having to find a new job too. Also, murdertraffic.

So yes, it could be done, but only at a fairly large cost in time and aggravation.