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army1987 comments on Open Thread, June 2-15, 2013 - Less Wrong Discussion

5 Post author: TimS 02 June 2013 02:22AM

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Comment author: [deleted] 09 June 2013 09:07:02PM *  1 point [-]

The example you linked doesn't seem creepy to me, assuming it was on a dating website. (A context could make it creepy: for example if the same man keeps sending this message repeatedly to the same woman.)

Actually, I think the lack of context makes it creepier.

Being that explicit so early in a conversation is usually considered impolite. (There's no need to explicitly mention the bedroom -- they're on a dating site, she knows you mean that even if you just say you want to hang out.) Therefore, it demonstrates a lack of familiarity with politeness norms, and possibly with social interactions in general. In more usual contexts, it would instead demonstrate that you can afford flouting politeness rules without much of a status hit, but when you're talking to someone who knows basically nothing about you other than what you're communicating at the moment (for all she knows, you could be a sexual predator, a dork who basically never talks to women in meatspace, or even an uFAI), countersignalling is a bad idea.

Also, it pattern-matches a kind of guy who gets very resentful, sometimes in a scary way, when he doesn't get his way. (And for some reason they seem to always be awful at writing -- “your beautiful”, “knew to the area”...)