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JoshuaZ comments on Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality discussion thread, part 21, chapters 91 & 92 - Less Wrong Discussion
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Well, in Hermione's case, she may not wanted to give her parents that level of grief. Although frankly, I'd rather remember a loved one who I think died then not remember them at all, and I suspect that Hermione would think the same way. So canon Hermione likely didn't really think this through. (Frankly, the first time I read what she did to her parents, I was absolutely appalled- I don't think Rowling really appreciates how absolutely insidious and violating memory modification is.)
I distantly recall that canon!Hermione was trying to remove her parents as potential hostages / revenge targets. I think the goal was to get them to Australia without violating the Statute of Secrecy. This doesn't make sense, now that I think about it - her parents already knew she was a witch, why is telling them about the war a violation of secrecy. Updating towards my memory being wrong.
Even assuming my memory is right, I agree with you that Rowling's reasoning is disturbing. There are so many other ways to protect the information in canon (eg Fidelius), yet Rowling picks the least consensual, least possible to give informed consent method.
I suspect this is because they wouldn't voluntarily abandon their daughter, this was her way of pulling a more hero than thou on them.