Some movements are able to have their cake and eat it too. If a hundred years ago someone told the early feminists to be extra careful about not offending people, would they listen? Would it be a winning strategy?

I agree that it feels like people should choose between having their cake and eating it. But is this a description of how the world really works, or merely a just world fallacy? As a competing hypothesis, maybe it is all about power -- if you can crush your enemies (for example make them unemployed) and give positions of power (and grant money) to your allies, then people will celebrate you as the force of good, because everyone wants to join the winner. And if you fail, the only difference between being polite and impolite is whether you will be forgotten or despised.

Let's imagine that Athol Key would stop using the forbidden words like "Red pill" et cetera. What about the rest of his message? Would it stop feeling offensive for the "Blue pill" people, or not? If the blog would be successful, they would notice, and they would attack him anyway. (The linked article reacted to Athol's description of a "red pill woman", but would it be different if he just called her e.g. a "perfect woman"?) And if the blog would be unknown enough to avoid being noticed, then... it wouldn't really matter what's written there.

Compared with most blogs discussing the topic on either side, Athol Kay is extra polite. We can criticize him for not being perfect, while conveniently forgetting that neither is anyone else.