I think we have a disagreement largely based on our definitions of some admittedly slippery concepts.

I think the words are slippery but the concept themselves aren't. The difficult thing is to trace from the words that someone uses what he actually experiences. The other difficulty is to predict what the words will do to a reader.

An outside observer would say, "Oh, there is nothing to worry about... in reality, you are okay." Meditation, and some of Tolle's work (as I understand it) allows you to become identified with that outside observer by recognizing there is an awareness beyond our thoughts and feelings, and become more familiar with that awareness.

I'm not happy with the word "outside". It's more a place that neither inside nor outside or both. But that might be semantics.

More importantely that observer is awareness and not thought. A phrase like "this cognitive-mental situation is causing pain." looks to me like an intellectual descrition. It looks constructed.

My impression could be wrong. On the other hand I do point to a failure mode that exists.

I guess I can see how someone could use these techniques to do evil, and I don't want to be naive... but I'm speaking more about how to feel less social anxiety/insecurity in light of the topic at hand.

I think the light way of dealing with social anxiety to come out with empathy. Having empathy has other advantages besides stopping you from hurting other people. It's my impression that's the way that Tolle advocates.