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drethelin comments on Open thread, September 2-8, 2013 - Less Wrong Discussion
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The following query is sexual in nature, and is rot13'ed for the sake of those who would either prefer not to encounter this sort of content on Less Wrong, or would prefer not to recall information of such nature about my private life in future interactions.
V nz pheeragyl va n eryngvbafuvc jvgu n jbzna jub vf fvtavsvpnagyl zber frkhnyyl rkcrevraprq guna V nz. Juvyr fur cerfragyl engrf bhe frk nf "njrfbzr," vg vf abg lrg ng gur yriry bs "orfg rire," juvpu V ubcr gb erpgvsl.
Sbe pynevsvpngvba, V jbhyq fnl gung gur trareny urnygu naq fgnovyvgl bs bhe eryngvbafuvc vf rkgerzryl uvtu; guvf chefhvg vf n znggre bs erperngvba naq crefbany cevqr, abg n arprffnel vagreiragvba gb fnir gur eryngvbafuvc.
V'ir nyernql frnepurq bayvar sbe nyy gur vasbezngvba V pna svaq ba vzcebivat gur dhnyvgl bs frk, ohg fhpu vasbezngvba vf birejuryzvatyl rvgure gnetrgrq ng oevatvat crbcyr jvgu fbzr frevbhf qrsvpvrapl va gurve frk yvirf hc gb gur yriry bs abeznyvgl be fngvfslvat gurz gung gur abez vf yrff fcrpgnphyne guna gurl guvax naq gurl qba'g unir gb yvir hc gb vasyngrq fgnaqneqf, engure guna crbcyr gelvat gb npuvrir frk jnl bhg ba gur sne raq bs gur oryy pheir, be gnetrgrq ng crbcyr jub jbhyqa'g xabj jung "rzcvevpny onpxvat" jnf vs lbh uvg gurz va gur snpr jvgu vg.
V'z nyernql snzvyvne jvgu gur zbfg boivbhf, ybj unatvat sehvg vagreiragvbaf fhpu nf "pbageby fgerff," "qb xrtryf," rgp, naq jr pbzzhavpngr nobhg bhe frkhny cersreraprf naq npgvivgvrf rkgrafviryl. V'z nyfb nppbhagvat sbe snpgbef fhpu nf gur rzbgvbany pbagrkg bs bhe rapbhagref naq ubezbany plpyrf. Jung V'z ybbxvat sbe ng guvf cbvag ner rkprcgvbany zrnfherf sbe guvatf yvxr envfvat zl frkhny fgnzvan gb hahfhny yriryf, vapernfvat ure yriry bs nebhfny naq/be frafvgvivgl, naq fb sbegu. Obgu purzvpny naq abapurzvpny zrnfherf ner npprcgnoyr, ohg V jbhyq yvxr gb nibvq nalguvat yvxryl gb pneel qnatrebhf fvqr rssrpgf, naq vs cbffvoyr V jbhyq cersre abg gb erfbeg gb guvatf gung jbhyq erdhver zr gb trg n cerfpevcgvba sebz n qbpgbe juvyr qvfpybfvat gung V'z hfvat vg ba n cheryl erperngvbany onfvf.
Nal nqivpr jbhyq or nccerpvngrq.
Practice makes perfect. I think a lot of good sex is intuitively reading your partner's signals and ramping things up/down with good timing in response to them. I think this is something you might be able to learn via logos but I think it's much more likely to be something you need to experience before you can get good at it. When to pull hair, when to thrust deeper, etc.
In general I and whoever I'm with have had more fun when I felt I had a good idea of what they wanted in the moment, which I think I've gotten better at mainly through practice.
I suspect that I can continue to improve with practice, but I'd like to be able to set out every option available to me on the table.
Even if I can attain the status of "best" without taking such extraordinary measures, this is something I'm genuinely competitive on, which at least to me means that simply taking first place isn't sufficient if I can still see avenues to top myself.