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ChristianKl comments on Ignorance in parenting - Less Wrong Discussion
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To me that sounds like the rules that your wife sets a too complex. If you don't understand that they make sense as an adult, they will be completely arbitary to the children.
Insightful. The rules I am talking about are mostly about every-day routine. The grand picture of these rules is clear - but that doesn't help for particular cases where
a) the children may know the rules or rather the pragmatics of the rules better than I and
b) I don't know the 'usual' consequences with respect to rule violation.
This manifests especially if I care for the children only for a limited time and then my wife takes over again - and gets dissatisfied with the consequences of my decisions - mostly because she has to 'clean up' after my 'misapplication' of the rules. And believe me: My children will tell me if I'm to strict but not if I'm too lax.
A corollary to this is: If you are less strict than your partner and never want to disappoint him/her, then you have to be stricter then him/him.
That's when the only thing your partner cares about is that you enforce a certain level of rules.
Sadly that has a true part in it.