drethelin comments on You are the average of the five people you spend most time with. - Less Wrong Discussion
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both adopted and natural children are far more likely to be like their peer group than their family, if I remember what I read in "no two alike"
For most psychological characteristics we are 50% genes, 10% environmental big stuff (family, conditions) and the remainder is distributed between Question Mark (we just don't know), peers and how you take what happens (something like autonomous, or self creating).