Mistakes repository

Nissa Seru

This is a repository for major, life-altering mistakes that you or others have made. Detailed accounts of specific mistakes are welcome, and so are mentions of general classes of mistakes that people often make. If similar repositories already exist (inside or outside of LW), links are greatly appreciated.

The purpose of this repository is to collect information about serious misjudgements and mistakes in order to help people avoid similar mistakes. (I am posting this repository because I'm trying to conduct a premortem on my life and figure out what catastrophic risks may screw me over in the near or far future.)

What are the bad things that can happen to you if you get accurately judged as nerdy

This brings up an excellent point.

It's perfectly fine to be Packers fan, but I would judge a person who showed up to a wedding or funeral dressed as a cheesehead. I wouldn't judge them for being a Packards fan; I would judge them for disrespectfully violating decorum -- for choosing to signal that they are a Packards fan.

Projecting nerdiness is similar EDIT in that the first-order signal is not the harmful one. A nerdy appearance emits two important signals:

You are nerdy
You are a person who emits signals that they are nerdy

The second-order signal is the more negative and important. It isn't too bad if people think you are nerdy; it's bad if people think that you don't understand or don't care how most people perceive you. It signals a lack of self-awareness, or a deficient understanding of cultural norms, or blithe indifference. In my case, it accurately signaled all three.

Signaling my lack of self-awareness didn't cause bad things to happen; it prevented good things from happening.

how do they compare to the negative impact of having people assume all the wrong things about you?

No negative impact, and I don't think people do assume the wrong things about me. In conversation I'm usually transparent about who I am. You can credibly profess to be nerdy no matter what clothing you wear. You cannot credibly profess to understand unspoken social norms if your appearance contradicts your words.

This is excellent and is relevant to my thoughts.

It signals a lack of self-awareness, or a deficient understanding of cultural norms, or blithe indifference

I defined it as self-hatred, but lack of self-awareness is close.

1A1987dM13y

Nitpick on wording: I wouldn't call wearing a suit to a wedding “looking like a non-Packers fan” -- it's not like non-Packers fans are all that much more likely to do so than Packers fan; I'd call it “not looking like a Packers fan”. By the same token, on hearing “looking like a non-nerd”, I think about an appearance that's significant evidence than you're not a nerd; I'd refer to an appearance that doesn't provide much evidence one way or another as “not looking like a nerd”.

5kalium13y

I understand that it would be incorrect to show up at a wedding, funeral, or job interview wearing shorts, sandals, and a t-shirt with a bad science pun. Those are special occasions with different rules from the rest of your life, and fortunately they are rare. Why, in everyday life, would dressing like a nerd indicate blithe indifference towards anyone? Would I seem more empathetic and human if my shirt advertised a band instead, or had buttons? What are some common environments where looking like a nerd is a disrespectful violation of decorum?

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