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Fermatastheorem comments on Advice for a smart 8-year-old bored with school - Less Wrong Discussion
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What this means is that we should teach the kids what they can and can't change about those things, and how to change them (via hard work), instead of continuing to teach them that appearance and intelligence are completely fixed, and then rewarding them for those traits anyway.
I certainly agree that it's important to learn what we can and can't change, and how to change what we can change, and that it's important to teach kids things that it's important to learn.
I didn't intend to devolve into platitudes; sorry if that happened anyway. I was just trying to relate your comment to the general topic.