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niceguyanon comments on Open Thread, November 1 - 7, 2013 - Less Wrong Discussion

5 Post author: witzvo 02 November 2013 04:37PM

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Comment author: Omid 06 November 2013 04:31:52PM 4 points [-]

Has anyone else had this happen to them?

  • You got into an argument with a coworker (or someone else you see regularly). You had a bitter falling out.
  • You were required to be around them again (maybe due to work, or whatever). You make awkward small-talk but it's still clear you hate each other.
  • You continue to make awkward small talk anyway, pretending that it doesn't make you uncomfortable.
  • Your enemy reciprocates. The two of you begin to climb the intimate conversations ladder.
  • Both of you act like friends. But, at least from your end, it's not clear if you really are friends. Neither one of you has apologized, nor have you agreed to disagree, or really made any commitment to end hostility. You have no idea whether your enemy has moved on from your fight, and is ready to resume friendship; or if they're simply carrying on a charade of friendship like you.
  • Conversations with this person become really awkward, as you're not sure whether to engage the "enemy-with-whom-I-treat-like-a-friend-just-to-act-civilized" protocol or the "real friend" protocol.

Any advice? Am I the only one that's experienced this?

Comment author: niceguyanon 06 November 2013 10:18:06PM *  1 point [-]

It looks like you have an unspoken treaty of non-hostility. People don't just forget those kind of things; you didn't. My advice is to make good with the person and acknowledge your prior differences, it will be less awkward going forward and you would gain his/her respect. And who knows, they might even gain your respect. Friends for the most part are always better than enemies.

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