From the OP:

In such situations, the only drawback is that naive consequentialism fails to consider consequences on the person acting (ie: me). Once I make that more virtue-ethical adjustment ...

Consequentialism would cover you just fine, if you just happened to have any terminal values concerning you. Or, do you mean consequentialism implies too much computation for you? If so, using simpler moral heuristics is still consequentialism, if you predict it is useful to maximize your values in certain situations.

I think that our concept of morality as distinct from aesthetics seems to be primarily a social thing. Morality is about how we handle other people

Or animals, just like you said. It could also include how you handle your future or past self, and I don't think that is about aesthetics. Alas, we seem to be arguing about definitions here, probably not very useful.