Frozen is a decent movie by today's standards. But turns out I'm a grumpy old man who hates the values of modern movies. Explaining why will take spoilers, so prepare ye for a wall of rot13 (which is long because I want to make this accessible to people who haven't seen the movie):

Sebmra unf sbhe cevznel punenpgref: Ryfn, gur ryqre fvfgre, Naan, gur lbhatre fvfgre (obgu cevaprffrf), Unaf, gur punezvat cevapr, naq Xevfgbss, gur vpr zrepunag. Ryfn unf gur zntvp cbjre gb perngr vpr; cynlvat jvgu Naan bar avtug, fur nppvqragnyyl fubbgf ure jvgu vpr, naq Naan vf frevbhfyl vawherq. N gebyy urnyf Naan naq nygref ure zrzbevrf, gryyvat gur xvat gung Ryfn arrqf gb yrnea gb pbageby ure cbjref be greevoyr guvatf jvyy unccra. Gur xvat gryyf Ryfn gb uvqr ure cbjref naq ercerff gurz naq bgure rzbgvbaf. Ryfn naq Naan fgbc orvat sevraqf orpnhfr Ryfn ybpxf urefrys va ure ebbz.

Yvxr nyzbfg nyy Qvfarl cneragf, gur xvat naq dhrra cebzcgyl qvr. Snfg sbejneq n srj lrnef, naq Ryfn'f pbebangvba qnl vf urer, nybat jvgu nyy bs gur sbervta qvtavgnevrf. Gur pnfgyr tngrf ner bcrarq, naq Naan vf rpfgngvp ng gur bccbeghavgl gb svanyyl zrrg crbcyr gung nera'g freinagf, naq rkpvgrqyl fvatf nobhg zrrgvat ure gehr ybir ng gur onyy nsgre gur pbebangvba.

Ragre Unaf, gur unaqfbzr naq fzbbgu cevapr, jub nccrnef gb or n terng zngpu sbe Naan, pngpuvat ure jurarire ure njxjneqarff pnhfrf ure gb snyy, naq fvatvat n qhrg jvgu ure. Gurl rkpvgrqyl qrpvqr gb trg ratntrq, naq tb gb Ryfn sbe ure oyrffvat. Ryfn ershfrf gb tvir ure oyrffvat, fur naq Naan svtug, jvgu Naan fangpuvat Ryfn'f tybir, naq gura Ryfn'f natel unaq zbirzrag gheaf vagb n jnir bs vpr zntvp.

Ryfn syrrf vagb gur avtug, jvgu fhzzre encvqyl gheavat vagb jvagre orpnhfr bs ure zntvp; Naan qrpvqrf gb frg bss nsgre ure, naq gryyf Unaf gb fgnl ng gur pnfgyr naq znantr gur gbja'f pevfvf. Ur qbrf fb pbzcrgragyl.

Naan zrrgf hc jvgu Xevfgbss, gur ybare vpr zrepunag, naq gbtrgure gurl znxr vg hc gur zbhagnva gb gur vpr cnynpr Ryfn ohvyqf sbe urefrys jvgu ure zntvp. Xevfgbss, jub zbpxrq Naan sbe trggvat ratntrq gur qnl fur zrg n thl, svaqf gur vpr cnynpr ernyyl vzcerffvir, qrpynevat "vpr vf zl yvsr!"

Ng nobhg guvf cbvag, gur raqvat V'z ubcvat sbe vf gung Unaf naq Naan trg zneevrq, Xevfgbss naq Ryfn trg zneevrq, Ryfn noqvpngrf gur guebar gb Naan orpnhfr fur'q zhpu engure unat bhg ba zbhagnvagbcf pensgvat vpr guna qrny jvgu crbcyr, naq Naan trgf gb ubyq nyy gur cnegvrf gung fur jnagf gb ubyq. Rkgebiregf naq vagebiregf obgu jva!

Naan zrrgf Ryfn, jub unf yrg ure unve qbja naq vf ybivat yvsr ba gur zbhagnva, jurer fur'f svanyyl serr gb hfr ure cbjref jvgubhg gur evfx bs uhegvat nalbar. Rkprcg, bbcf, fur'f sebmra gur swbeq gur gbja vf ba, naq hayrff fur fbzrubj gheaf vg bss vg'f onq arjf sbe rirelbar. Fur sernxf bhg gung ure serrqbz vf na vyyhfvba, naq guvf gvzr zbegnyyl jbhaqf Naan. Xevfgbss ehfurf ure gb gur gebyy, jub qrpynerf gung bayl na npg bs gehr ybir pna fnir ure sebz Ryfn'f vpr nebhaq ure urneg.

Xevfgbss gura ehfurf ure onpx gb gur gbja naq Unaf, jurer Unaf jvyy xvff ure naq fnir ure yvsr. Ng guvf cbvag zl ubcrq-sbe raqvat vf fgvyy cbffvoyr ohg gur ahzore bs bofgnpyrf va gur jnl ner tebjvat.

Unaf vf nobhg gb xvff Naan- naq gura erirnyf gung, fhecevfr! Ur npghnyyl qbrfa'g ybir ure, bayl jnagrq gur guebar, naq jnf cynaavat gb xvyy ure fvfgre riraghnyyl naljnl. Orpnhfr bs pbhefr jr pna'g unir n punezvat cevapr npghnyyl or n tbbq thl va n zbivr.

Inevbhf ghezbvy naq rkpvgrzrag unccraf. Naan guvaxf gung npghnyyl Xevfgbss vf ure gehr ybir, orpnhfr ur qrpvqrq gb tb ba gur nqiragher jvgu ure vafgrnq bs yrggvat ure serrmr nybar, naq gura nggrzcgf gb fnpevsvpr urefrys gb fnir Ryfn sebz Unaf- juvpu gheaf bhg gb or gur npg bs gehr ybir juvpu zrygf gur vpr nebhaq ure urneg. Ryfn ernyvmrf "bu, bs pbhefr, V'z va n Qvfarl zbivr- ybir vf gur grnpure'f cnffjbeq! Onz, rgreany jvagre bire." Gur pnfgyr tngrf ner bcrarq hc creznaragyl. Unaf vf frag onpx gb uvf ubzr pbhagel va punvaf, naq n qhxr V unira'g zragvbarq jub'f n greevoyr qnapre jvgu unve ybff gung gevrq gb xvyy Ryfn (nsgre gur jubyr "V'z na vpr jvgpu jub'f tbvat gb zheqre rirelbar jvgu jvagre" vapvqrag, juvpu frrzf fbeg bs whfgvsvrq gb zr) unf genqr fnapgvbaf vzcbfrq ntnvafg uvf pbhagel, qrfcvgr gurz orvat n znwbe genqvat cnegare. Naan ercynprf Xevfgbss'f byq fyrq gung jnf jerpxrq va gur ehfu gb ernpu Ryfn jvgu n arj, snapvre fyrq. Gur zbafgebhf fabj tbyrz Ryfn znqr svaqf gur pebja Ryfn qvgpurq va ure vpr cnynpr, naq qryvtugf va orvat n cerggl cevaprff (jryy, dhrra). Naq... gung'f gur erfbyhgvba.

Abj, sbe pbagenfg, yrg'f ybbx ng nabgure zbivr. Creuncf vg jnf ba zl zvaq orpnhfr gur gurngre V fnj Sebmra ng cynlf ybgf bs byq zbivrf, naq jr'er nccebnpuvat Puevfgznf, ohg Juvgr Puevfgznf vf fb byq gung vg jnf yvgrenyyl zl tenaqcneragf' svefg qngr zbivr. Vg nyfb unf sbhe znva punenpgref- n cnve bs thlf naq cnve bs tveyf (nyfb fvfgref). Gur pybfrfg guvat gur zbivr unf gb n ivyynva vf vtabenapr (jryy, naq na rnirfqebccre), naq (fcbvyref!) raqf jryy sbe onfvpnyyl rirel punenpgre. Gur thlf naq tveyf cnve hc va tbbq zngpurf, naq vg'f yvxryl Qnivf jvyy trg uvf 45 zvahgrf n qnl. Gur ergverq trareny vf erzvaqrq gung ur'f abg sbetbggra ol nyy uvf byq fbyqvref jub yrnir gurve snzvyvrf bhg bs yblnygl gb fbzrguvat ynetre guna gurzfryirf, naq gur hafrnfbanoyr jrngure oernxf naq vg fabjf va gvzr sbe Puevfgznf.

Pbzcner gb Xevfgbss trggvat n arj fyrq, Unaf orvat vzcevfbarq, naq gur crbcyr bs Jrfrygba naq Ryfn'f xvatqbz obgu fhssrevat sebz genqr orvat phg bss orpnhfr bs crefbany navzbfvgl orgjrra haryrpgrq yrnqref. Orfvqrf Ryfn qrpvqvat gb bcra urefrys hc rzbgvbanyyl gb crbcyr, vg'f abg pyrne nalbar vf fvtavsvpnagyl orggre bss. Xevfgbss abj unf na bssvpvny gvgyr, juvpu vf cebonoyl jbegu fbzrguvat, ohg erznvaf n ybare envfrq ol gebyyf. (Bu lrnu, vg'f urnivyl vzcyvrq gurl xvqanccrq uvz sebz uvf npghny snzvyl, ohg fbzrubj gung vfa'g na vffhr?) Znlor ur naq Naan ner oblsevraq-tveysevraq? Ohg gura gur pbhagel vf jbefr bss orpnhfr vafgrnq bs na nqinagntrbhf zneevntr gb, fnl, fbzrbar jub'f fghqvrq fgngrpensg, gur frpbaq va yvar gb gur guebar pna zneel fbzrbar jubfr cevznel fxvyy vf phggvat hc vpr naq jub cvpxf uvf abfr naq rngf vg. Ohg nccneragyl gung fbeg bs qlanfgvp guvaxvat- be, ernyyl, pbaprea sbe nalbar abg va n aneebj pvepyr bs sevraqf naq snzvyl- vf whfg gbb sbervta gb zbqrea fpevcgjevgref.

Vg jnf n pyrire pbaprvg gung gur cevaprff jnf gur qbre bs gur npg bs gehr ybir, engure guna gur erpvcvrag. Ohg V pna'g or gur bayl bar gung jvfurf zber zbivrf unq ab punenpgref gung jrag orlbaq abezny uhzna frysvfuarff naq sbyyl, juvpu ner zvfrel rabhtu, naq raqrq jryy sbe rirelbar vaibyirq. Vg jbhyq nyfb or avpr vs, lbh xabj, jr npghnyyl tbg fbzr cevaprf jbegu rzhyngvat naq/be yhfgvat nsgre, engure guna na raqyrff fgernz bs onq rknzcyrf? (Juvpu erzvaqf zr: Fyrrcvat Ornhgl, gung Qvfarl pynffvp nobhg gur thl naq ryqreyl srznyr urycref jub fnir n tvey sebz na rivy ovgpu jub qrpvqrq gung gur evtug jnl gb erfcbaq gb abg trggvat n cnegl vaivgngvba jnf gb zheqre n puvyq, vf orvat ervagrecergrq nf gur gnyr bs ubj onq puvyqubbq rkcrevraprf whfgvsl orvat rivy. NUUUUU)