Methinks Team Red are right about certain people and Team Blue are right about other people.. I guess the latter are a majority among the general population but the former are a majority among the kind of people who read LW.
I've downvoted comments that sound overconfident about what kind of person the OP's ex-wife is.
As I mentioned elsewhere, beware of other-optimizing.
This is the earlier promised post about Dealing with a Major Personal Crisis. Please continue reading there but comment here.
The reasons for posting it this way are explained at the end of the link. I hope this approach does what I want it to.