I agree, one can hold both the conflicting views that "we're all selfish replicators" versus "we're all flawed altruists" like the vase-versus-face interpretation of the Rubin vase or alternate spatial interpretations of a Necker cube. They're both metaphors, basically. Like you say, the danger of overinterpreting the altruistic interpretation is to expect too much altruistic behavior, and the danger of overinterpreting the cynical interpretation is to fail to account for actual love and kindness when you see it.
Incidentally I think HPMOR!Harry and HPMOR!Quirrell do a good job at exemplifying the contrasting arguments for either side ...
This is the earlier promised post about Dealing with a Major Personal Crisis. Please continue reading there but comment here.
The reasons for posting it this way are explained at the end of the link. I hope this approach does what I want it to.