Taking the word "afford" literally, if you can only afford $50 on the first auction, and you lose the auction, then you'll have an extra $50 on the next auction, and will be able to afford $100. If you lose that auction, you'll be able to afford $200 on the auction after that. I think that the concept you're thinking of is not so much afford, as marginal utility cost. For someone with a yearly income of $200,000, a marginal util is going to cost a lot more than for someone with a yearly income of $40,000. Thus, the richer person may be willing to bid more, because the utils are worth more to that person. It is therefore more efficient (that is, it is a Pareto improvement) for the richer person to win the auction, and give money to the poorer person that the poorer person can use to buy utils elsewhere. And I really wonder at who's deciding what goes in the Google Chrome spell checker dictionary, because apparently "util" is in it, but "externality" is not.
Could you elaborate your interpretation to the extreme, i.e. a classical marriage, with one person earning money and the other caring for home and children?
After moving in with my new roomies (Danny and Bethany of Beeminder), I discovered they have a fair and useful way of auctioning off joint decisions. It helps you figure out how much you value certain chores or activities, and it guarantees that these decisions are worked out in a fair way. They call it "yootling", and wrote more about it here.
A quick example (Note: this only works if all participants are of the types of people who consider this sort of thing a Good Idea, and not A Grotesque Parody of Caring or whatnot):
Use Case: Who Picks up the Kids from Grandma's?
D and B are both busy working, but it's time to pick up the kids from their grandparents house. They decide to yootle for it.
B bids $100 (In a regular Normal Person exchange, this would be like saying "I'm elbows deep in code right now, and don't want to break flow. I'd really rather continue working right now, but of course I'll go if it's needed.")
D bids $15 (In a regular Normal Person exchange this would be like saying "I don't mind too much, though I do have other things to do now...")
So D "wins" the bid, and B pays him $15 to go get the kids from their grandma's.
Of course.... it would be a pain in the butt to constantly be paying each other, so instead they have a 10% chance of paying 10x the amount, and a 90% chance to pay nothing, using a random number generator.
This is made easier by the fact that we have a bot to run this, but before that they would use the high-tech solution of Holding Up Fingers.