To rephrase: I accept that utilitarianism is the correct way to extrapolate our moral intuitions into a coherent generalizable framework. I feel no 'should' about it -- no need to apply that framework to myself -- and feel no cognitive dissonance when I recognize that an action I wish to perform is immoral, if it hurts only people I don't care about.
Ultimately I think that is the way all utilitarianism works. You define an in group of people who are important, effectively equivalently important to each other and possibly equivalently important to yourself.
For most modern utilitarians, the in-group is all humans. Some modern utilitarians put mammals with relatively complex nervous systems in the group, and for the most part become vegetarians. Others put everything with a nervous system in there and for the most part become vegans. Very darn few put all life forms in there as they would starve. ...
If it's worth saying, but not worth its own post (even in Discussion), then it goes here.