Yeah, I think #2 is the clear winner- get the degree, attract the high quality mate, then have the kids- with a modification. You don't want to encourage your child to have kids until they've found a high quality mate, because if they have kids when they're a teenager that will lower their lifetime prospects.
There's a difference between encouraging kids to have children, and encouraging them to imagine having children after they've got good odds of being able to take care of them well.
This is a somewhat modified version of a Facebook post I made a few days ago, incorporating some of the comments there. I think the Less Wrong readership may have interesting thoughts on the subject.
In recent times, especially in the developed world and among higher socio-economic status families everywhere in the world, it's common for teenagers (and even younger children) to be encouraged to think in systematic ways about their career choice, but it's relatively rare for them to be encouraged to think in systematic ways about how many children they'll have or how they'll raise their children. A lot of teenagers do have views on the subject of children, but they're not encouraged to have views, and they're not encouraged to refine those views. With career choice, although there's still probably a lot of room for improvement in the quality of advice and guidance offered, people at least in principle acknowledge its importance.
What do you think explains the disparity? Here are some explanations with my thoughts on them:
What do you think of these explanations? Any others I'm missing? Correctness of the explanations at a factual level? Importance as explanations?
PS: Some of my other recent posts have been based on stuff I wrote up in connection with working for Cognito Mentoring, but this one isn't, though it's possible it might inform my later work for Cognito Mentoring.