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polymathwannabe comments on Open thread, 24-30 March 2014 - Less Wrong Discussion
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A friend of mine has mild anorexia (she's on psych meds to keep it contained) and recently asked me some advice about working out. She told me that she is mainly interested in not being so skinny. I offered to work out with her one day of the week to make sure she's going about things correctly, with proper form and everything.
The thing is, just going to the gym and working out isn't effective if her diet and sleeping cycle aren't also improved. I would normally be really blunt about these other facts, but her dealing with anorexia probably complicates things a bit... especially the proper diet part. I was thinking that if she has trouble eating enough, maybe she could try drinking some protein shakes. But I'm not sure if that would actually be effective in helping her reach her goal of putting on more weight if she's not eating properly other times of the day. If anyone has any advice on how I could more effectively broach that subject without being insulting or belittling I would appreciate it.
You may directly ask her in what terms she prefers to discuss those matters. That way you'll get across your message, i.e. that proper diet is worth talking about, with little risk of involving the wrong message in the mix.
This form of question seems no less likely to raise problems than asking about the topic itself.
I'd suggest something more along the lines of "This is pretty standard advice, and it works for most people, but it's built on some assumptions about an average diet. How much should I be tailoring it for you?" Which is basically an indirect request for a status report, without implying anything about whether or not her current eating pattern is unhealthy. From that response, you can probably gauge to what degree you can safely bring it up directly.