ChristianKl comments on Open thread, 24-30 March 2014 - Less Wrong Discussion
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A friend of mine has mild anorexia (she's on psych meds to keep it contained) and recently asked me some advice about working out. She told me that she is mainly interested in not being so skinny. I offered to work out with her one day of the week to make sure she's going about things correctly, with proper form and everything.
The thing is, just going to the gym and working out isn't effective if her diet and sleeping cycle aren't also improved. I would normally be really blunt about these other facts, but her dealing with anorexia probably complicates things a bit... especially the proper diet part. I was thinking that if she has trouble eating enough, maybe she could try drinking some protein shakes. But I'm not sure if that would actually be effective in helping her reach her goal of putting on more weight if she's not eating properly other times of the day. If anyone has any advice on how I could more effectively broach that subject without being insulting or belittling I would appreciate it.
If she's on medicine to contain her anorexia she knows she has an issue. You could start with simple asking her what she eats and listen empathically.
I would also suggest that you think about your relationship with her. What does she want? Does she want your approval? Does she want that you tell her what to do, to not have to take the responsibility for herself? Does she care about looking beautiful to you? Does she want a relationship with you? Do you want a relationship with her?
Knowing answers to questions like that is important when you deal with deep psychological issues. It shapes how the words you say will be understood.