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MrMind comments on Open Thread, May 12 - 18, 2014 - Less Wrong Discussion
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Yeah, I explained myself poorly. By 'logical' I meant the 'rationalized' explanation.
It should at least tell me if she's aware of the behaviour or not.
Really? Because if someone told me I wasn't treating them well, I would apologize and make nice regardless of whether I'd been doing it intentionally. I think you are overestimating how well confronting her will work to inform you.
Think about (ahead of time) what response(s) you'd expect if it were all a misunderstanding and what response(s) you'd expect if it were deliberate. If there's a lot of plausible overlap between the two worlds, you won't learn very much, but you may make the whole thing more awkward by drawing attention to it.
I think you're right: telling her is not especially informative, plus would surely modify her model of me and muddle the waters even more (I forgot to apply the principle that you disturb everything you measure).
I think I'll just tease her back and resort to telling her if and only if this escalates in a bad direction.