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Algernoq comments on Cognitive Biases due to a Narcissistic Parent, Illustrated by HPMOR Quotations - Less Wrong Discussion
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I assume this is a "Nope, because of secret author evidence that justifies a one-word rebuttal" or a "Nope, you're wrong in several ways but I have higher-value things to do than retype the sequences".
(Also, it's an honor; I share your goal but take a different road.)
Further evidence that Petunia is emotionally demanding of Harry is the short letter she sends after the Incident With The Troll: "You promised me that you wouldn't let magic take you away from me. I didn't raise you to be a boy who would break a promise to his Mum. You must come back safely, because you promised" (Ch.93). The letter is entirely about Petunia's needs: Petunia does not attempt to help or console Harry.
It does sound somewhat off-putting out of context. However, she wants him to be safe, and she knows him well enough to realize that the best way to make him want to be safe is not to appeal to his own self-preservation instinct, but to his sense of duty and responsibility. This desire to keep your child safe might be selfish, but it is hardly indicative of narcissism. Most loving parents, especially mothers, would go to some length to keep their underage child out of mortal danger. If this requires some blatant guilt-tripping, so be it.
I would have expected a longer letter, with more offers of help, and reassurances of love and validation of Harry's needs, in addition to the guilt-tripping, had Petunia not been narcissistic.The letter comes across as controlling (I raised you to be X; you must be X). You may be right -- Petunia may have stopped herself from writing a longer letter, after reasoning about it -- but I am skeptical because she doesn't seem to be that subtle in her interactions with others. I'll be interested to see how Harry and Petunia interact in the future.
What goal do you understand yourself to share with Eliezer, and what different road?
I don't deserve to be arrogant here, not having done anything yet. The goal: I had a sister once, and will do what I can to end death. The road: I'm working as an engineer (and, on reflection, failing to optimize) instead of working on existential risk-reduction. My vision is to build realistic (non-nanotech) self-replicating robots to brute-force the problem of inadequate science funding. I know enough mechanical engineering but am a few years away from knowing enough computer science to do this.