It's nice to work to cultivate that trust, and to be the kind of person your friends do approach with requests for trigger warnings and tone shifts. For one thing, I don't want to use emotionally intense false cognates and not know it, any more than I would want to be gesticulating hard enough to strike my friend in the face without noticing.

Reading body language and noticing when someone get's tense can help a lot even if the person is not willing to overtly tell you about the fact that he finds language that you use offensive.

For face to face conversation I take empathy and being aware of the emotional state of the other person over following a bunch of rules about which words are allowed and which aren't. I like to be in social environments where people express themselves authentically and have enough empathy to be aware of the effects of their words instead of social environments that are heavily rule based.