Have some positive reinforcement - please cross-post again. I thought this was a very good example of how not to shoot yourself in the foot. I think that the example of using Chinese is especially good, because it really is just a mistake that can hinder fruitful conversation, which is the real goal.

I think that's an important point: fruitful discussion is the goal. I know that a good friend of mine got most of his knowledge about atheism from online debates and the like, and so he would talk in unproductive tones of voice when discussing (arguing) it with people face to face. But as fubarobfusco pointed out, the rules of public action and personal conversation are very different. For me the Chinese example really brings it back to that. When you're talking with someone privately, make every effort to communicate optimally to that person.