I think what you are really looking for is a model above the fray. By trying to mold your mind into that of FAI you are trying to decide what to leave behind and what to keep. This problem is deeply spiritual. By divesting yourself of identity you are allowing a new idea of who you are to develop. What does that look like? By wanting to improve your life and make it as happy and long as possible you are doing what you can to make this life count. That is a question of what does your life look like? How can you manifest that? Although you are more than a physical working self improvement and improving the world around are noble and decent goals. I think if you seek to become as human and as incarnated as possible you will improve.