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Viliam_Bur comments on Should EA's be Superrational cooperators? - Less Wrong Discussion
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Yep. It took me decades to learn this. I am a natural cooperator, and I often end up surprised that many other people aren't, and that my utility that I sacrificed for the benefit of the whole group is gone because of some other people infighting. "Help your group" must go together with "choose the right group".
Yes, I learned this lesson the hard way as well.