Explanations of how all women really want to be controlled by a strong man are window dressing
Then way are women so willing to throw themselves in front of abusive men?
Some women are. I don't have the feeling for what proportion of women are willing to have relationships with obviously abusive men.
The usual account of abusive relationships is that the abusive escalates fairly slowly-- I don't know whether the initially abusive relationship is too embarrassing to talk about.
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