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Alicorn comments on Open Thread: What are your important insights or aha! moments? - Less Wrong Discussion
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I'm not sure how you got this from me. I don't adhere closely to the majority poly opinions on possessiveness and don't think I've said anything this-like. I mean, maybe you got poly from me and this from poly, so I guess I'd be to thank for it upstream...?
If I recall correctly, your writeup on polyhacking and sharing MBlume (or something to that effect) some years back helped me trace my own understanding of the issue.
EDIT: I think it was this comment :) http://lesswrong.com/lw/79x/polyhacking/4q1g
EDIT2: Luke's comment was also helpful: http://lesswrong.com/lw/79x/polyhacking/4pv8
The comment of mine you link is a pretty good description of my break with Classic Poly on this issue. I don't usually use the exact word "ownership", but: he's mine! I liked it so I put a ring on it! I value having the option to transition to monogamy if I want! Mine mine mine! Saying that I was a prompt for realizing that "jealousy conflates love with ownership" makes it sound like you think I don't love my primary, or that you're confused about whether I think he's mine (mine mine mine mine), or that I must be plagued by intolerable jealousy, or... something. I'm puzzled.
Oy. Didn't mean anything like that.
Sorry, I was unclear. Or maybe I misunderstood you. Or both. Actually, in what sense he is "yours", is not clear to me. Certainly it does not look like you are restricting the choices he makes, including his choice of an extra romantic partner, or at least not by much. My best guess is that you two get preferential and unfettered access to each other... Anyway, not sure if this is getting anywhere.