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Alicorn comments on Open Thread: What are your important insights or aha! moments? - Less Wrong Discussion

16 Post author: Emile 09 November 2014 10:56PM

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Comment author: Alicorn 11 November 2014 07:22:38AM 2 points [-]

The comment of mine you link is a pretty good description of my break with Classic Poly on this issue. I don't usually use the exact word "ownership", but: he's mine! I liked it so I put a ring on it! I value having the option to transition to monogamy if I want! Mine mine mine! Saying that I was a prompt for realizing that "jealousy conflates love with ownership" makes it sound like you think I don't love my primary, or that you're confused about whether I think he's mine (mine mine mine mine), or that I must be plagued by intolerable jealousy, or... something. I'm puzzled.

Comment author: shminux 11 November 2014 08:50:02AM 0 points [-]

it sound like you think I don't love my primary

Oy. Didn't mean anything like that.

Sorry, I was unclear. Or maybe I misunderstood you. Or both. Actually, in what sense he is "yours", is not clear to me. Certainly it does not look like you are restricting the choices he makes, including his choice of an extra romantic partner, or at least not by much. My best guess is that you two get preferential and unfettered access to each other... Anyway, not sure if this is getting anywhere.